I often wonder what genetic and environmental influences I have or will have on Ava and the proportion of the two. Sometimes I see some not so good things like my stubbornness or temper as well as better things like active imagination or pattern recognition skills. I herd a wise person recently say that one the most important parts of being a good parent is knowing yourself. I guess that is partially because if you are aware of your baggage you can make a concerted effort not to pass it on. Easier said than done but I am trying.
Then I think about Binh, he arrived with a small bag that I can’t open. Even if I could, I don’t think I would really know how to make the best use of it. That is the amazing thing about love, it truly helps you get to the root of the problem. I think about the fact that, up until months ago, I had absolutely no influence on who he was. He is experiencing so many changes and taking everything in stride.
Events over the last 24 hours had me thinking about these things. Yesterday we went to the beach and this morning the kids and I played in the yard. Watching Ava and Binh at the beach, exploring, discovering and learning, I saw my self equally in both of them. Ava was cautious but curious to see where the fish went. Binh loved to use a shovel in the sand. Both found the waves intimidating but fascinated by how they broke into whitecaps. This morning we went out back to play and give mom a break. Ava chose to swing and Binh was distracted on his way to the slide by some brightly colored bugs. When he looked up and realized that Ava and I were at the swing he quickly made his way over to the ladder / rock wall and began to climb. Once at the top he chose to go down feet first on his belly.
Everything Binh and Ava did by impulse in the last 24 hours remind me of stories told to me about how I was growing up. Thinking back about this gave me a great feeling. In the end, it doesn’t really matter whether your child is biological, adopted, or fostered, simply add love and you will find what you are looking for in your family.
Lastly, one great thing about marrying the perfect person is that they are also the perfect person for the good and bad of your children.