This blog was originally to chronicle our family’s experiences with adoption from a man’s point of view but the last week or so have strayed from that original purpose. The reason, it’s hard. It is much easier to talk about our biological daughter as she grows. They say that you don’t have to divide your heart when a new child enters your family because it multiplies. That poses a unique problem for adoptive parents. You get an exponential increase in heart capacity but little more than a picture or two to put in it. Add to it, the pain of thinking about your child’s current living conditions, the uncertainty of the process, and the helplessness that goes along with having no control. All that space in your heart where your new child’s first words and steps feel so empty. I guess you fill the empty places in your heart with what you have. Tonight as I read Ava her bedtime story she insisted that I put her bear in my other arm. I felt my eyes water, that’s where my boy is supposed to be.