After reading what Michelle wrote regarding her experience with “nice racism” and her little girl I felt there 
was another aspect. We have a beautiful biological girl that most cannot resist commenting about. However, more often than not they fail to even mention the little boy I am holding. I feel like adopted boys and girls are treated differently. I thought about this just last week while Char and I were running around L-A searching for a home. A lady walked into the real estate office and cooed over Ava but then had no idea how to handle commenting on Binh, both which were on the floor in the same vicinity. I wonder, what is going through their mind? Is it a look of confusion, judgement, something else. Some things I think I know about the look and the thought process behind the eyes: it is race related and ignorance related. I feel this way because I have the context of a beautiful, smart, blond haired, blue eyed biological girl.
I cant allow such external ignorant reactions to change my actions. It is so important to get educated and especially comfortable with these situations. My son deserves better than this.
Sorry to use a picture from a previous post but hey, I think it illustrates my point. How does that little face not inspire a reaction.
2 responses so far ↓
Leon // June 16, 2008 at 4:23 pm |
Perhaps you yourself throw out more vibes more with your biological children…
And also there is flattery by proxy.Flattering your biological child is flattering you, right ?
and perhaps people guard themselves too much … eg one can’t say to the boy “you must have a handsome father”, so they don’t like to say anything.
eg they dont want to be asking “are you his biological father ? ” or other such foopahs.
(My sisters oldest daughter is half Malay-chinese,but that leaves her looking like a not-so-dark Malay Chinese. …confuses everyone, especially in contrast to her two younger sisters.. blondes with blue eyes and light skin … )
Lori // July 18, 2008 at 2:05 am |
Hmmm…People in LA might not be as enlightened as an educated area like Boston, but give them a chance. They could just be petrified of saying something offensive. After all, Binh could be a playmate of Ava’s, or you could be his babysitter, or he could have had a different father, etc…You can always find a way to nonchalantly say, Binh bring Mommy your toy please, or in some way let the observer know he is your child.