Dialog

Char and I are still waiting for I-600 approval.  So close…  As an adoptive parrent in process, I now notice so many multiracial adoptive families here where we live.  I’m sure they were always here before but just did not notice.  My first inclination is to reach out, ask about their process, and learn about them.  However, I realize that the obvious reason I noticed them was because they are  multiracial – different.  More importantly, what message would I be sending to the child by putting them on the spot.   It just doesn’t seem right.  This reality prevents me from ever saying anything.  How will I feel if approached?  Guess I will find out soon enough.

Comforting News

As stated in earlier post, I have been growing increasingly worried about our soon to be son.  Our absolutely wonderful agency has kept a reasonably steady stream of pictures coming.  If just any old picture of a sunset says a thousand words then a picture of your soon to be son says a hundred thousand.  Unfortunately, some of those words lead to uncertainty.  Is he growing the way he should, is he getting what he needs, how is he developing…?  We had some legitimate concerns.  Additionally, because our I-600 approval period was taking a little longer and our son had not seen a doc in a while, our agency attempted and succeeded in getting our son a checkup, which we received yesterday.  What a blessing!  A great deal of uncertainty was laid to rest!  I understand that this is not an option for children that have had a recent checkup but if the situation is right, it is more than worth the cost.  Our report was thorough and answered just about every health and developmental question I had…  He’s got two teeth!

Binh then Ava & the Mariachi

We got a new picture of Binh today.  My reactions to pictures has diverged from my wife’s.  She seems to initially connect with him through the picture.  I see a baby boy who is alone, pale, and undernourished.  I know char sees these things too.  Don’t get me wrong, I cherish the update but also feel discomfort, which motivates me to prepare for him. 

 Ava’s vocabulary has be rapidly expanding over the last couple of weeks.  The interesting part of this phase is that, for the first time, you can determine exactly what she is talking about when she is recalling an experience.  The family went to a Mexican restaurant last Tuesday and there was a mariachi band playing.  The band worked its way over to a table next to us and Ava was mesmerized by the trumpet.  The couple at the table stood up and danced until the song was over.  Ava and I stood up and danced a minute next to our table and talked about the trumpet, it was at this point she learned what a trumpet was.  Just before we left, our server brought us a balloon and we headed back home.  The next night she said three words that made me proud, amazed, and speechless.  They were - ”Trumpet – Boody – Balloon.”  I looked to Char as it to say, did she say what I think she said?  Char confirmed this and was not as surprise as I was.  Ava basically said, “hey, remember when we went to the place where the guy with the trumpet played and we danced and I got a balloon.”  Cheesy?      

 I have noticed that many in blog-world have “favorite photo Fridays.”  Well, because this is to help keep distant family and friends up to date, I will attempt ”YouTube Tuesday,” where I will try to post a video of Ava and hopefully Binh in the near future on or about each Tuesday.  This first video is nothing special. Ava asked to blow bubbles so I put her in the tub and she tried her best…

  

Best Parts of the Day

There are two distinctly great parts of my day.  The first is waking up to our little girls voice over the monitor as she talks to herself while playing with the stuffed animals in her bed.  Prior to our daughter’s birth, I did not really ever want to get out of bed, delaying getting out of bed as long as possible.  That’s simply not the case anymore.  The second guaranteed great part of my day is putting her to bed at night.   She tells me the story she wants me to read and then we talk about it as she becomes relaxed and curls up in my lap.  The things  that happen in between are a little easier to deal with.

Getting Started

This blog will chronicle the thoughts and experience of an international potential adoptive dad.  Char and I are waiting for I-600 approval from Vietnam.  I was skeptical in the beginning.  Char and I have a biological daughter (see Raising Ava).  Our little boy’s arrival is a little different.  A pain grows in my heart as I think of his living conditions compared to ours.  I can only imagine that he will open a new compartment of endless love.

 I always wonder how the fathers of adoptive children initially reacted to the idea of adoption.  I guess it depends on the circumstances, was it their idea?, how much pain had they gone through?, had it always been on their heart?.  Regardless, we all merge into an endless love for our children in the end.  In our case, it had always been on my wife’s heart.  Initially, I didn’t really think that much about it.  I wanted to try to have a biological child first and then felt we would revisit adoption.  It stayed on Char’s heart and weighed heavier each day.  Finally, she asked me very directly how I felt and what about adoption worried me.  Without thinking, I listed our financial obligations and tried to determine a “safe” time to start.  I soon realized that I was scared more than anything.  Once we talked honestly about our feelings, it was time to get started.  We started our dossier in June and got a referral in September, simply a miracle.  We chose to adopt a boy because we already had a biological daughter.  Today, the money means very little compared to my excitement.  I keep thinking of raising my little Red Sox fan, painting his room, taking him fishing, etc.  

 More to come…